Divorce

Women are not as dependent on men as they were years back so there are alot of divorces because women are financially stable. A man who is unemployed and cannot provide for his family may take his frustrations out on his family. Often couples just grow apart like the husband can become engrossed in his work or hobby or the wife in her children, career or community affairs, then one day they wake up and realize they stopped talking years ago.
 * Divorce**

Divorce is like a death...it releases a torrent of emotions like, anger, resentment, fear, lonliness, anxiety, and above all the feeling of failure. After the divorce their is a period called seperation shock when the divorced parents are mourning until they realize they survived. Gottman said there is 4 steps to divorc: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and withdrawal.

the ostrich- it buries its head in the sand or denying that anything it wrong the tiger- attacking the other person the turtle- snapping at spouse (passive aggressive) the skunk- start a fight and then cant finish it so they leave the puppy- they fight with guilt
 * There are 5 conflict styles:**

1. Pick your battles 2. pick a time 3. get to the point and stay there 4. avoid namecalling 5. avoid sore spots 6. listen and then compromise 7. be sure the argument is finished
 * The rules of smart arguing...**